Yes, my boy ‘Tommy J’ said this. But I prefer this version:
“People deserve the government they get, and they deserve to get it good and hard.” – H.L. Mencken
The fat lady isn’t singing just yet, but she sure as hell has warmed up and cleared her throat. If the Trump legal team can actually get a true recount in at least Georgia, Michigan, Pennsylvania, and Nevada – well, God love ’em. But even Everest is taller than what it looks from the ground, and this vote challenge is no different. And for what it’s worth, I would never be happier to be proven wrong on this.
So for now, pat yourselves on the back, America! You’ve done a stellar job at demonstrating our educational deficiencies in this country, not to mention our rapid loss of reason and sound judgment.
That being said, since the American people – for the world to see – have demonstrated their sheer ignorance of economics, science, foreign relations, and every other topic that matters, here is what we can expect in the worst-case scenario of an election re-count that doesn’t put Trump over the top, and what will happen with the start of the Biden/Harris administration. So pour yourself a good Kentucky bourbon (sh*t, make it a double), get comfy with a box of tissue, and let me tell you what you can possibly be given to swallow over the next 4 years. And as one of the many public services we provide, we’ll translate the Democrat doublespeak, and tell you what to expect.
- Biden could forgive a chunk of student debt without any help from Congress. Student-loan debt reached a national high of $1.5 trillion in 2019. Democratic Sen. Chuck Schumer, the Senate minority leader, and Sen. Elizabeth Warren unveiled a proposal for the next president to cancel up to $50,000 in student-loan debt.
- Translation: All of your liberal neighbors kids who majored in Gender Studies, or 20th Century Marxist Poetry, or Egyptology, or Floral Management can get a free ride for making a very expensive, piss-poor life decision.
- Biden could increase the federal minimum wage for contractors to $15 an hour. Biden can increase the hourly pay for federal contractors. The president-elect supports a $15 minimum wage nationwide, though he hasn’t unveiled a timeline to implement it. House Democrats passed a plan last year to gradually reach that level by 2025.
- Translation: The gift shop clerks at the Capitol Building will make more than your studious, collegiate son or daughter at their engineering internship. Fabulous.
- Biden could step up corporate taxes by adjusting regulations with the Treasury Department. Biden campaigned to partially roll back Trump’s 2017 tax law and increase the tax rate on corporations to 28%. But Republicans are not likely to support the move, and it may be difficult to achieve if Democrats don’t control the Senate. He could step up corporate taxation by adjusting several regulations with the Treasury Department. Trump’s tax law reduced the corporate tax rate from 35% to 21%, the biggest change to the tax code in three decades, which is one of the reasons unemployment – pre-covid – was at all time lows across the board and especially with minorities.
- Translation – The ignorant socialist bedwetters and Bernie supporters will cheer with glee at this one. But since they lack even the most basic understanding of economics, the brutal reality of lost jobs, increased overseas investment, and the fact that the end user/customer pays those taxes by increased product costs will make them scream louder. Democrats/Progressives/Socialists are not smart people.
- Repurpose unspent federal relief funds. Congress hasn’t spent all the relief funds from the Coronavirus Aid, Relief, and Economic Security Act passed in March. Biden could repurpose some of the unspent money from the Paycheck Protection Program.
- Translation: Use your imagination on this one. No progressive dream is too big or too lofty. Let your thoughts run wild.
But hey, don’t worry your pretty little head off worrying about such trivialities as the economy, or jobs, or other meaningless topics that will affect your future, or your children’s future, or your life as a whole. We’re gonna save the planet from greedy corporate polluters, cow farts, and those pesky gas-guzzling vehicles.
Biden’s legislative agenda on climate will largely depend on whether Democrats gain control of the US Senate, which will be decided in two run-off elections in Georgia taking place on January 5. YOU REALLY NEED TO FRET AND WORRY ABOUT THIS.
But regardless of which party controls the Senate, Biden has pledged to sign a series of executive orders, which do not require congressional approval. In other words, “Its good to be the king“.
Biden has laid out a really stupid and meritless $1.7 trillion investment climate plan with the goal of reaching net-zero greenhouse gas emissions by 2050.
Stef Feldman, Biden’s campaign policy director, says that Biden’s climate plan is an “all-of-government agenda,” and will be worked on across departments and agencies.
Here’s a list of 10 executive actions Biden has said he will take on his first day as president to combat the environmental “crisis” and placate the “Green New Deal” wing of the Dem party:
- Require limits on methane pollution for oil and gas operations.
- Translation: Crazy Uncle Joe is gonna get rid of all of those energy jobs that employ hundreds of thousands. No worries, mate. There is a surplus of government cheese to be handed out in DC. Just ask Pelosi and Schumer!
- Use the federal government procurement system to work towards 100% clean energy and zero-emissions vehicles.
- Translation: Nothing screams “Go Green!” like lithium mining for batteries.
- Ensure US government buildings and facilities are more efficient and climate-ready.
- Translation: Yeah, because we haven’t wasted enough taxpayer money yet.
- Implement the already-existing Clean Air Act, and reduce greenhouse gas emissions from transportation by developing new fuel economy standards to ensure all new sales for light- and medium-duty vehicles will be electrified, and annual improvements for heavy duty vehicles.
- Translation: Because who doesn’t want to spend $125K for an F-150?
- Double down on liquid fuels like advanced biofuels and make agriculture a key part of the solution to the climate crisis.
- Reduce emissions and cut consumer costs through new standards for appliance and building efficiency.
- Translation: Yes, sir! You’ll easily save $10 a year in in utilities, and pay hundreds more for that new washer, dryer, refrigerator, washing machine, etc.
- Require federal permit decisions to consider effects of greenhouse gas emissions and climate change, and ensure every federal infrastructure investment reduces climate pollution.
- Translation: Because lets face it folks, nothing says efficiency and fairness like bureaucratic red tape. Just ask conservative victims of the IRS.
- Require public companies to disclose climate risks and greenhouse gas emissions in their operations and supply chains.
- Translation: This is a true job creator, folks. Companies will now need to hire staff to compile meaningless metrics and data that no one will look at. Its all part of the Biden plan for economic growth!
- Rejoin the Paris climate accord, a landmark international deal to combat the climate crisis that Trump pulled out of in 2017.
- Translation: No matter how useless, unscientific, and financially crippling to the U.S., we need our friends to really, really like us for pretending to care. According to the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT), which compiled the combined impacts of the various pledges under the Treaty, it found a best-case scenario of global temperature reduction of 0.2 degrees Celsius by 2100.
- Permanently protect the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge, establish national parks and monuments, ban new oil and gas permits on public lands and waters, modify royalties to account for climate costs and creating programs to enhance reforestation and develop renewable energy on federal lands and waters to double offshore wind by 2030.
- Translation: Who needs all of that selfish energy independence anyways? Let’s help create more jobs in oil-rich terrorist nations like Iran and Russia. Think of others, you greedy bastards!
So there it is, fans. A virtual cornucopia of stupidity, waste, and increased cost – TO YOU!
But honestly, maybe America needs this. Not for any of the benefits they are trying to sell like snake oil, but rather as a bump-stop for the downward spiral of electorate sloth, complacency, and ignorance. Just sayin’ …