Nancy orders another round – of power

Well sports fans, our favorite Democrat drinking buddy – Nancy Pelosi, who just hours earlier had her illegal Guatemalan landscaping crew remove the pig head and Antifa graffiti from her palatial, walled and gated estate with them fancy, highfalutin appliances that hold her stash of Dove bars and Franzia Cabarnet, has done gotten herself re-elected as House Speaker during the 117th swearing in of the House of Reps. Shock. Dismay.

Pelosi’s ANTIFA fan mail. Looks like she has reaped what she has have sown.

That’s right, peasants and commoners. Under the benevolent guidance of her supreme majesty, Lady Nancy will once again assume the throne of the House in the “Temple of Democracy” (her words; translation: “my castle”) as Speaker. Sleep well knowing she wants to send you $600 bucks for being good little obedient mask wearers during the Chinese Lab Flu pandemic. That can buy a lot of Dove bars.

This was Nancy’s fourth non-consecutive term to lead the House, but her election this time was different. Opposition from not only Republicans but also her fellow Democrats was openly known and voiced before the vote. Pelosi had a slim margin for error, facing the Democrats’ smallest majority in decades and a pandemic that hindered House voter attendance. Some in her social(ist) circle have been quite vocal for new leadership, and Republicans and RINOs were unified against her. She received 216 votes, which was enough considering a handful of members either voted present or the seats were vacant. House Republican leader Kevin McCarthy received 209.

But not all Dems voted for Nancy Antoinette. Reps. Jared Golden (D-ME), Rep. Conor Lamb (D-PA) voted for alternative candidates, and Reps. Mikie Sherrill (D-NJ), Elissa Slotkin (D-MI), and Abigail Spanberger (D-VA) voted “present” in Sunday’s proceedings. What was interesting is that popular socialist brain surgeon and rocket scientist Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and her Commie Squad pals, who we’re quite vocal in calling for new (and sober) blood in House leadership weren’t among the Democrats who didn’t vote for Pelosi. They’ve often been more critical of Boxwine Pelosi than Republicans.

Seems as though the well-entrenched Swamp Queen had to call in some cards on this one, along with twisting some arms, cracking some skulls, and getting the ungrateful youth of the party to fall in line.

Long live the Queen.

Homage to the South

Ah, the south. Without it, we wouldn’t have NASCAR, Chic-Fil-A, cajun and creole cooking, Kentucky bourbon, Walmart parking lot revivals, Gospel music, monster trucks, Hee Haw, the SEC and the Georgia Bulldogs (or “Dawgs” as they say), country music, that banjo kid from Deliverance, yada yada yada …

A “Dawg” as they call it in the Peach State.

In our last post, we talked about all of those woke and enlightened, highfalutin, college educated Democrat swells in charge of every major city cesspool in the U.S. and District of Columbia who will or have defunded the police. Well, we meant no disrepect by leaving out our southern friends in the great city of Atlanta, GA, and the Democrat brain trust that runs that little gem of the south.

And now, for our Democrat friends: THE PRETTY COLOR IS THE STATE OF GEORGIA. GEORGIA IS IN THE UNITED STATES. THE CITY OF ATLANTA IS IN GEORGIA. Please consult Wikipedia for more info.

According to a story in the Conservative Review, members of the Atlanta city council proposed spending $1.6 million to hire a private security force specifically to protect the affluent Buckhead neighborhood amid a rise in gun violence, despite calls to “defund” the Atlanta police department.

Following a shooting near a Buckhead mall that left a 7-year-old girl dead, Atlanta city leaders have been looking for a way to handle the city’s growing gun violence problem and, despite calling to defund the police earlier in the year, now want to splash out on a private security force to protect the city’s wealthier residents.

The city council has a full plan specifically for Buckhead, per a “Buckhead Security Plan” slide deck made available on Monday. Objectives of the plan include, “Funding and establishing a supplementary, multi-car dedicated security patrol utilizing off-duty sworn officers of APD, Fulton County Sheriff’s Office, and Georgia State Patrol. The supplementary patrol will be for exclusive use within Buckhead commercial corridors and will be managed by the Zone 2 Commander at APD to augment on-duty APD patrol (NT).”

Atlanta’s mayor, Keisha Lance Bottoms, who was once a front-runner to become Joe Biden’s Vice President, is perplexed at the growing gun violence problem in her fair city. And she has absolutely no idea as to why police morale is so low, with many retiring or quiting. Her statements appear to have been directly responsible for a major decline in the police department’s overall morale and an associated “sick-out” that saw some officers walk off the job over the city’s decision to charge officer Garrett Rolfe with felony murder in the shooting death of Rayshard Brooks.

Atlanta’s city council voted against “defunding the police,” per local media, but Mayor Bottoms noted, over the summer, that city authorities could soon begin the process of rerouting funds destined for law enforcement initiatives to other “community-focused efforts”, whatever the hell that means.

Btw, trivia fans, the Georgia state motto is “Wisdom, Justice, and Moderation”. Let that marinate under your cranium for a bit.

NOW PLAYING – Escape from New York! (and Chicago, and LA, and Portland, and Seattle, and Minneapolis, etc…)

Once again, the abject stupidity and inability to clearly understand reality by the enlightened and woke Democrats has turned our inner cities into dystopic stages for levels of crime that could only be seen in movies not so long ago. We are talking wide-out-in-the-open crime. Crime that is not even hidden, but committed brazenly and in full public view without a concern for being witnessed, or even videoed.

By now, you have probably scene that video captured in Manhattan showing a group of young, wild, animals attacking a driver and his 74 year old mother in broad daylight. If you haven’t, check out the vid of these childish, kids-being-kids wacky hijinks by these poor, unfortunate inner city youth on expensive bikes who probably were not breast fed as babies and have been obvious victims of white privilege.

Ah, when the youthful shenanigans of soaping windows and toilet papering trees has lost its thrill, nothing feels better than the pack animal need for terror and destruction.

A 15-year-old was arrested Wednesday in connection with the attack and charged with rioting and criminal mischief. Police are still searching for the others involved. Criminal mischief??? Mischief is attaching a string to a dollar bill and pulling it when someone tries to pick it up. Mischief is putting dog poop in a paper bag on someone’s doorstep and ringing the bell and running. Mischief is plugging the toilet in the school restroom. Wildly attacking a vehicle with the metal frame of a bike and attempting to gain entry by punching out the windows is assault with intent to do bodily harm. Regardless of the age of the perpetrator, I would feel my life was being threatened, and take action accordingly. At a bare minimum, there would have been crushed bicycles and a few tire-marked corpses laying on the street. If it happened in my neighborhood, the gun I keep on me would have an empty magazine.

Obviously, systemic racism had pushed these Eagle Scouts, high scholastic overachievers, and SAT whiz masters to the brink of violence. Maybe it was the George Floyd incident? Or maybe, just maybe, many of these exuberant youth might lack any real adult role models and have a tough time figuring out who gets the Father’s Day card and ugly tie present?

Now, combine these social problems with the fact that its almost impossible to get a concealed weapon permit in New York, and that great progressive thinking plans (like eliminating bail) of Mayor Bill “Defund-the-police” DeBlasio, and these types of incidents will stop being reported, not because they have ceased, but only due to the amount of frequency that they occur.

Dumbassery on display

Speaking of defunding the police, other cities that have done such are feeling the sharp sting of increased crime. Minneapolis City Council President and part-time rocket surgeon Lisa Bender  in June had said fear of dismantling the police department comes from “a place of privilege” (Yes, she is that woke and stupid). Along with Bender, City council members Steve Fletcher and Andrew Johnson, who are probably MENSA members for their extraordinary progressive thinking and compassion, voted on June 12 to abolish the police department in the wake of the death of George Floyd. Now those same Minneapolis leaders couldn’t for the life of them figure out why crime has spiked. Go figure?

Top that off with cities like Seattle and Los Angeles who will or have effectively made it OK to commit misdemeanors without penalty, if you can claim that you are a member of the underprivileged and downtrodden.  Seattle crime has exploded in the Downtown area by 87% in burglaries since the stay-at-home order and a county ban on most misdemeanor bookings. Los Angeles crime has sky rocketed, and they can’t figure out why.

Portland, fresh off a championship season of 120 straight nights of riots, rung in the new year with a festival of fireworks and Molotov cocktails aimed straight for the police. This happened after the mayor had an epiphany that defunding the police was not not one of his more thought out plans.

And finally, lets give big applause to the the Democrat utopia of Chicago, with some of the toughest gun laws on the books, who just wrapped up a banner year for shootings and murders, not wanting to be outdone by cities like Detroit, East St Louis, or Camden. Yes sir, Chicago is not known for underachievers (do not count the Bears, White Sox, or Cubs – we’re talkin’ criminals for now) pushing out some top shelf numbers like these for 2020: 769 homicides — 274 more than the previous year and the most since the 784 homicides in 2016. The latest shooting victim figures told the same story, with the year ending with 4,033 shooting victims compared with 2,598 the year before.

Way to go Dems! You’ve been in charge of all of those cities for years. You really have outdone yourselves.

This weeks highlights – and its only Tuesday!

Where to begin? Ah – I know! I’m going old school on this one. Like my old neighborhood bff’s Italian grandmother, I’m going to throw some spaghetti against the wall and see if it sticks, or needs to boil more.


More cooking tips later. We have much ground to cover.

>>>It’s here! It’s finally here! Actual evidence of voting fraud! And like everything associated with this election debacle, its a day late and a dollar short – as they say in the hallowed halls of justice. Proving this on a grand scale may be possible, but it will take most if not all of the Harris/Biden presidency to make the evidence legit. Not to be a buzzkill folks, but Dementia Joe and the Ho will be the new sheriff in town come Jan 21. Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful. (See the actual report here at the bottom of this link.)

>>>Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) congratulated President-elect Kamala “Legs up!” Harris and Vice President-elect Joe “Pull-my-finger; Where-did-I-park-the-limo?” Biden, marking the first time The Mitch has directly acknowledged their con-job, vote fraud-laden, fake news media promoted, perfect crime victory. When asked about the acknowledgement, Joe Biden could not remember why he was being congratulated. Now before you start yelling in the town square to get all the pitchforks and fire starters and march down the cobblestone to Mitch’s office, stop and think. Reality can sometimes be cold and cruel, as it is here. But it’s done. It’s over, Johnny.

As in done, finished, finito, et al.

No time for tears, drinks, and anti-depressants. Plans are already underway for 2022. I just wish someone would let me know what they are. Stay tuned for a special follow-up report – “The 2022 Smackdown – or, How I learned to stop worrying and love socialism”.

>>>CA Rep. Eric  Swalwell, former “presidential candidate” (LMAO!!) and currently serving on the House Intelligence committee (let that marinate under the cranium for a bit) is doing the Wango Tango with a Chinese spy.

Swalwell, an anti-gun grabber and lover of all things taxable, got his ‘hand’ (insert other body part here) caught in the naughty bits cookie jar of a one Christine “Me-love-you-longtime” Fang, who also has many public servant ex-boyfriends, according to investigators. Go figure!

>>>Jill Biden shall now be called Her Royal Holiness Doctor Jill Biden under penalty of extreme humiliation, called names that end in -ist and -ism, and media censorship. Just ask the editors at the WSJ. Turns out HRHD Jill’s degree is in Education. I guess that makes you an expert teacher, or something. That little factoid didn’t stop Whoopi Goldberg and the rest of the intelligentsia at ‘The View’ from nominating her as Surgeon General.

The always lovely, ever insightful Joy Behar from “The View”

Oh, those gals over at The View are sharp; such a brain trust to be treasured. Meanwhile, to quench the fires and bloodlust for all things deemed politically incorrect by the left, WSJ Opinion Editor Paul A. Gigot said “There’s nothing like playing the race or gender card to stifle criticism,” and we here at Raison Detre – RANTS! whole heartedly agree.  

>>>The 1st injections of the new covid vaccine have been administered, and reports of recipients climbing walls, catching insects with their tongues, hungering for human flesh and developing signs of a third eyeball are “completely exaggerated and blown out of proportion”, says Dr. Fauci, the CDC, Bill Gates, and the World Health Organization. The global medical experts all have reached the consensus that these are just normal immunity reactions, and the effects are only temporary.

In a recent conference in Geneva, Bill Gates reiterated the medical opinions of top experts, and instructed those eligible for the first doses of the vaccine to “Sit down, shut up, and take it, you peasant bitches! I know what’s best for your simple-ass selves.” Bill Gates, who self-encased him and his wife Melinda into a large Bio-dome covering their entire 66,000 sq. ft. mansion estate, insist that we all get covid “tattoos”, to make those lines everyone else stands in to become faster and more efficient. Bill and Melinda Gates have once again demonstrated their caring, compassionate, and charitable contributions to make the world a better and more controlled place to live. At least for them.

>>>United States Congressman Paul Mitchell from Michigan has announced he is leaving the Republican Party over President Trump’s efforts to overturn the election. And no one cares. BTW, is he the same guy that makes that eco-friendly, non-canine tested hair gel?

>>>Empress Lady Gretchen Whitmer of Michigan,  Gavin “Governor Gaslight” Newsome of California and Andrew “Leave-the-gun-take-the-canolli” Cuomo of the notorious Cuomo crime family of New York are still in charge of their respective states and applauding themselves for killing the elderly, destroying entire industries, and causing massive unemployment. As they all have stated from their gated, protected, taxpayer funded mansions and cherry wood decorated offices, “We’re all in this together!” I feel better already.

>>>Speaking of criminals, big props to Andy “Party-in-my-pants” Cuomo, who has single-handedly destroyed the #metoo movement. Remember the feminist battle cry of “Believe All Women!” in any and all cases of supposed sexual harassment?

Democrats and leaders of NOW have just put out a press release and memo of clarification defining that the phrase only is applicable to Republicans, and is only brought out when needed to stoke the flames of baseless allegations and to derail SCOTUS candidates. Despite the controversy over the allegations against him, Cuomo still maintains that Brett Kavanaugh is a serial rapist.

>>>There were, and probably still are Chinese troops in Canada hosted by Justin “I-ain’t-Pierre!” Trudeau, who just wants to make the world a better place, sing Kumbaya, and to be liked and respected by somebody/anybody.

>>>‘Proud Boys’ and other patriots in DC give back some unity and tolerance, and treat the socialist fascists of Antifa like the little candy-ass, basement dwellers they are – and suddenly, Democrats are outraged over violence in the streets, and want something done about it.

Antifa got sucker punched. WHOOPSY! Tough. Too bad. Sucks to be you and have to taste your own medicine.

You folks best be glad that we here at Raison Detre – Rants! are all over the news like white on rice, so you don’t have to! Our ear is on the wall, and our nose is on the ground, which keeps you informed and also makes for a very unpleasant position for us. But we do it all for you.

Now can I please get an award or something?

It’s the 23rd Annual Raison Detre ‘Newsmaker of the Year Award’

Last week, Time Magazine made quite a stir in their annual “Person of the Year” award by giving it to the Democrat tag team of Joe Biden, Kamala Harris, and Xi Jinping. Like every year, their award is often misunderstood by many to represent the people that they like and admire the most. Just like in 1938, when Time told the world that Adolf Hitler was their person of the year, it angered many into thinking that Time was into honoring criminals, despots, half-baked dictators with racist/murderous tendencies, and other fine folks that everyone would love to spit on or watch burn in hell.  

Biden, Harris, and top political adviser and bankroller, Xi Jinping.

But now, like in 1938, Time had to be explain that the award was given to not the most noble, but rather the most newsworthy individual of the year. Time Magazine still claims this to be the case today, but in their selection of the Biden/Harris tag team of Democrat incompetence that literally kept out of sight and in the basement during the last month of the election, it is an honest question and criticism as to whether the award is now a simple popularity contest for the people Time admires and fawns over the most. Regardless of your political affiliation, leanings, or endorsement, it’s fair to say the most newsworthy person of this last year – in fact the last 4 years – has been Donald Trump. There has been no one more consistently in the news and making news than Trump. In our humble opinion, it really makes their choice suspect as to their motives and to the bias that they have demonstrated and given over the years to Democrats, liberals, and progressives.

So, in order to bring those journalistic hacks and halfwits at Time back on track and give some legitimacy to a ‘newsmaker of the year’ type of award, it is with great joy and anticipation that we release our ‘Raison Detre Newsmaker of the Year’ award to the average American voter.

Churchill was a prophet, and had a premonition about the the collective IQ in America in 2020

That’s right. We’re giving it to the 60 million voters who cast their ballot for Joe Biden in this last presidential election. Even though Donald Trump had more than 74 million votes (the most any US president has ever had), Uncle Joe and the Ho managed to scrape together 60 million votes supplemented by another 20 million votes from illegals, dead people, multiple voting constituents, forgers, dubious local vote counters, the Chinese, Ukrainian oil companies, Dominion voting systems, and various other criminals and ne’er-do-wells.

Here we see Hunter Biden hard at work fundraising for dad’s campaign!

But for this award, we are narrowing the focus to those 60 million who legally voted for Biden and salute their unmatched level of ignorance, stupidity, and complete inability to think forward using facts, logic, and reason. Yes, those proud and upstanding Americans who tuned in to the mainstream media to get their daily dose of “orange-man-bad” groupthink and Orwellian two-minute hate.

Visionary and prophet.

And now, because of the average American voter’s ignorant political apathy and sloth, combined with a continually media-reinforced need to criticize Trump without a coherent and well-thought reason why, America’s best known dementia patient and Real Dem of Genius is set to be sworn in as president on Jan 20th, 2021.

Joe Biden – proving for all that you can be somebody in America without any real accomplishments.

Yes, America, get ready for 4 years of tax increases on EVERYBODY, not-so-disguised socialism,

the destruction of middle-east peace agreements, giveaways to illegals and criminals, loans and grants to the unproductive, “free” education and healthcare, massive inflation, a sinking economy, 100 days more of masks, along with a healthy dose of lib/progressive white guilt policies, restrictions in speech, erosion of gun rights, and the elevation of hair sniffing to an Olympic sport. Not to mention the top-shelf comic gaffes of a man who is obviously in cognitive decline.

Let’s just hope his continued loss of synapses doesn’t get us into a depression or war. Well, not to be a worry wort. If anything happens to our Hair-Sniffer-in-Chief, we’ll have Kamala to take the wheel of freedo … oh, wait – shit!


I’ll be quick.

“The TV business is uglier than most things. It is normally perceived as some kind of cruel and shallow money trench through the heart of the journalism industry, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free and good men die like dogs, for no good reason.” – Hunter Thompson

Screw the media. Kill your television. That is all.

“Statistics don’t lie. Statisticians do.” – Somebody smart said that; maybe it was me.

Quite a week indeed, so far – and its only Wednesday. The Trump diehards are continuing to make waves and rattle cages over the foul, pungent stench of the Great Election Fraud of 2020. American blood-sport politics at its worst.

There really wouldn’t be much to look at and discuss had it not been for the Trump legal team to let slip the dogs of war – or in this case, those maligned, socially dysfunctional math geeks who look at graphs and data sets the way I used to get a sneak look at my best friends stash of his dad’s Playboy collection from the early 70’s. Ah, those junior high years! But I digress. More on that later. Tons of statistical anomalies are being explained to condescending and theatrical political panels of low-grade politicians in states like Georgia, Pennsylvania, Michigan, Arizona and Wisconsin. These faux hearings are comprised of locally elected simpletons who prayed that they never in their political careers would have to make the BIG decisions. These are tiny, spineless jellyfish-like humanoids who don’t want to make waves, or stir the pot and have angry constituents send them back to their home cities and towns, left only with the prospect of having to get real jobs. Its bad enough when you have to take a stand, but when you are forced to hear testimony that injects numbers, equations, and mathematical evidence using decimal points, curves, and graphs – well, there isn’t a taxpayer funded salary big enough to put up with that.

“82.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.” – Steven Wright

The problem with all of this statistical anomaly data is that it is an opening argument, not a closing one. It proves that there is valid reason for suspicion, but does not prove a crime has been committed. That will take work; lots of it. Not just testimony from folks who claimed to have witnessed all sorts of shenanigans, but actual hard copies, pics, and physical evidence. Testimony will only go as far as the stalemate of we said / they said.

Hard evidence must be shown soon – like, you know – tomorrow!! It’s been a good thirty seconds since the sound of the two minute warning, and we are down by eight. A touchdown and a two-point conversion will be needed just to tie the game.

I certainly hope team Trump has had a good practice week.

Welcome to the First Annual Raison Detre Awards!!!

In 2009, just eleven days into his presidency, Barack Obama was nominated for – and later received – a Nobel Peace Prize, for no apparent reason other than not being George W. Bush. Not only did former Nobel Commission secretary Geir Lundestad acknowledge that the decision was purely political, but also admitted in hindsight it wasn’t such a great idea. Looks like reality caught up with Geir (aka Captain Obvious) years later, who realized that the little international political stunt ruined the image of the prestigious award forever.

Free Nobel Prize with tacos

At Tony’s Seafood Palace, they’re givin’ em away, folks. And don’t forget to try their new recipe – cheezy fries!

Obama, being the class act Democrat he is, showed his gratitude and thanked the commission by expressing he may not even attend the award ceremony (although he did end up going), then angering the normally patient and forgiving Norwegians when he skipped other activities including lunch with the king, a news conference, and a globally-shared CNN interview with the prize recipient. He also blew off a “Save the Children’’ benefit concert, where organizers reportedly placed him with an Obama cardboard cutout — though there appear to be no photos of this. Clint Eastwood would later pay tribute to the noted absence of Obama at the 2012 RNC convention, making the point that Obama’s actual presence at any function ain’t much different or any more valuable than airspace in the corner of any room.

Fast forward to November 2020, at the apex of the covid pandemic. New York Governor Andrew Cuomo, chief buffoon of a mishandled state operation to contain the spread of the illness resulting in at least 6,200 nursing home deaths (investigative reports by the NY Health Department only counted residents who physically died within a nursing home, and omitted those who contracted the virus and went on to die in a hospital or other facility), is recognized and honored by those keen political observers in charge of the Emmy Awards. These are the folks in the television industry who give themselves awards for TV “excellence” – at being mediocre. Yep, those top-shelf geniuses gave Cuomo an Emmy for his apparent TV covid-update brilliance telling New Yorkers that all is well; no need to panic just because grandma had to be intubated and die a slow horrible death by herself. It’s all for the greater good, because hey – we’re all in this together.

Well, we here at Raison Detre – Rants! are not to be outdone by those TV industry people. No sir. We can be just as fawning, ass-kissing, and filled with praise as those Hollywood types and wacky Nobel-awarding Norwegians. So with that, we give you the 2020 Raison Detre Awards!!

Winners of the 2020 Raison Detre Awards!! will receive their very own “Okie Dokie” statue, much like an Oscar, which is made with real gold, except this is plastic and comes from a sweatshop in China. All runners-up will receive a 5 x 8 picture suitable for framing.

And the winners are –

Best Performance in Killing Off the ElderlyAndrew Cuomo (D) Governor, New York Leadership. That’s what matters when you’re the governor of a state dealing with a pandemic. So much so that if you’re really good at it, you should write a book telling people just how good you are. Cuomo’s book, called “American Crisis” and released Oct. 13, was described in its press release as a “remarkable portrait of leadership during crisis and a gritty story of gut-wrenching choices that point the way to a safer future for us all.” And if you’re a true leadership expert and champion like Andrew Cuomo, you can save taxpayer money by reducing the senior population while simultaneously reducing those economically debilitating social security payments. So inspiring was Cuomo’s leadership skillset, that family members of those who died under his watch wheeled a silver casket to the front of a Brooklyn nursing home filled with 6,500 copies of the cover of Cuomo’s new book in honor of his COVID-19 policies and those who died as a result. Andy, you’re a true inspiration to us all!! Don’t go changin’ …

Best Performance for Being an Idiot During a HearingMazie K. Hirono (D) Senator, HI This was a tough one, since the field is so crowded and varied. But through the perils of fierce competition is where true champions are born. An outsider and dark horse who doesn’t get as much airtime like some of her fellow attention-whore Democrat colleagues, Crazy Mazie demonstrated her passion of woke equality during the confirmation hearings of Supreme Court nominee Amy Coney Barrett. To make sure all SCOTUS candidates are asked the same questions regardless of cis-gender identity, Mazie turned the heat up when grilling ACB over any past sexual misconduct with co-workers. Using her keen powers of observation and trusting her gut instinct that ACB is probably a right-wing closet sex-crazed love goddess with the proclivity of being naked under her bench robe and who has probably molested countless young SCOTUS pages, Mazie Hirono made it clear that just because ACB was never caught, yet alone suspected, that type of behavior will not be allowed while a member of SCOTUS. Along with that, Mazie educated us all by insisting that the term “sexual preference” was offensive, literally changing the dictionary overnite! She also explained her concern over SCOTUS ending infanticide. Simply brilliant, Mazie! And such a good use of taxpayer time and money.

Best Performance of Being a Global Warming/Cooling/Warming AlarmistAlexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D) NY 14th congressional district  According to AOC, we only have 12 11 10 years to save the planet, or we’ll all perish at the hand of an angry planet Earth, and we’ll all burn up, or freeze, or burn up, or something like that. Anyway, AOC claims what is needed to save us from the wrath of Mother Earth is her proposed Green New Deal, which would cost $93 Trillion (yes, with a T) in the first 10 years.

< Original draft of AOC’s “Green New Deal”.

If implemented, the Green New Deal would cost American households at least tens of thousands of dollars annually on a permanent basis. Perhaps that’s why exactly zero Senate Democrats, including the resolution’s 12 co-sponsors, voted for the Green New Deal when they had the chance.

Best Performance of Trump Derangement Syndrome (TDS)Maxine Waters (D) California Maxine is a strong contender and a perennial favorite in ANY category involving stupidity and low IQ. She should never be underestimated to say something so outrageous that it would normally get any average citizen a visit from the local FBI office along with a full cavity search for hiding weapons that could maim or kill. Yes, she is that insanely stupid, and has absolutely no problem calling for violence against any Trump supporter.

Best Dressed CongressmanJerry Nadler (D) U.S. Rep, NY 10th congressional district Always a slave to fashion, and always looking his GQ cover boy best, Jerry seems comfortable and confident in his own skin. Unfortunately, his skin isn’t that comfortable in his pants. But this fashionista gives our little man from NY four stars for always looking FABULOUS!

Whether on the catwalk, runway, or sitting calm, cool and confident, Jerry is just too sexy for his tie!

Way to go, Jerry! Show the boys and girls down in SoHo how it’s done!

Best economic stimulus plan for individual family membersJoe Biden, President-Elect, Economics is a top subject of any candidates political platform. But personal enrichment of a family member who couldn’t hold down a job selling shoes at the mall is a very humanitarian thing to do. Not only did ‘Dear Old Dad’ get Hunter Biden a fancy-schmancy board position and corner window office with a corrupt Ukrainian energy company, he also got him some choice seven figure deals with those capitalism-loving Chinese commies. That kind of parental support I wish I had. When he isn’t sniffing the hair of married women or 12 year old girls, Joe is a regular Ward Cleaver (Google that, millennials).

Best Impression of Your Political Party MascotAlexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D) NY 14th congressional district  This is AOC’s second award of the evening. A true champion and overachiever, AOC is the Rich Little of mascot impressions. The proof is in the pudding, as they say.

Well, we’re going to take a little station break to hear from our sponsors … wait, uh … we don’t have any, but we’re working on it. Stay tuned, star gazers! we’ll have more awards soon!

How to Lose Friends and Influence Elections

Before I am ostracized from my social circle, kicked out of my posse, removed from my crew, etc., let me say this: I want Trump to have a second term. I voted for him. Showed up at rallies for him. Had my front yard vandalized and Trump yard sign destroyed. Yes, I believe election fraud happened at some point. Yes, I believe crimes have been committed.

Got it? Okay.

That being said and out of the way, I have absolutely zero/zip/nada ounce of hope that this election will be overturned. It won’t happen. It’s not going to the Supreme Court.

Now, lets get the other stuff out of the way. I’ll say it for you: “SWINE!”, “Turncoat!”, “Traitor to the cause!”, “RINO!”, “GUTLESS COWARD!”

Heresy! Traitor! And yes, DUMBASS!

There. Feel better? Okay – now let’s talk.

This past Thursday, President Trump’s lawyers, including Rudy Giuliani and Sidney Powell, held a press conference in which they alleged that they have a massive pile of evidence that the presidential election was rigged and stolen, and that not only the usual voter fraud took place, hundreds of thousands of votes were added to Biden’s totals through electronic manipulation involving Dominion and SmartMatic software.

But that was just the start of it. Powell went on to lay out a complex and convoluted scheme manufactured by a team of ruthless globalists from Venezuela, China, Germany, Russia, Hillary Clinton, Bill Clinton, George Clinton, Bernie “America’s-fav-old-socialist” Sanders, the corpse of Hugo Chavez, and those notorious Bond villains’ Dr. No, Goldfinger, and Odd Job. And then presented not one piece of admissible court evidence. Oh boy.

In my humble, yet keen and ultra-sophisticated political assessment, it was an embarrassing shit show of monumental proportions. Not one shred of usable court evidence was revealed, and before you call me more names, let me state this: affidavits without physical evidence are rarely given serious consideration in court. I’ve heard Bigfoot sightings explained more credibly than these accusations.

Shit show watchin’

To make matters worse, Trump’s attorneys are not as detail-oriented as they need to be. An affidavit signed by Russell Ramsland, a Texas resident who is an expert on cyber security was filed by Trump attorney Lin Wood in a Georgia lawsuit, but it relates entirely to Michigan, and it is a safe bet that it has been filed in one or more cases in that state as well. Here’s another problem: the townships and precincts listed in paragraphs of the affidavit are not in Michigan. They are in Minnesota. Monticello, Albertville, Lake Lillian, Houston, Brownsville, Runeberg, Wolf Lake, Height of Land, Detroit Lakes, Frazee, Kandiyohi–these are all towns in Minnesota. 

Evidently a researcher, either Mr. Ramsland or someone working for him, was working with a database and confused “MI” for Minnesota with “MI” for Michigan. So the affidavit, which addresses “anomalies and red flags” in Michigan, is based largely, and mistakenly, on data from Minnesota.

This is the kind of thing that causes a legal case to crash and burn. Trump’s lawyers are fighting a steep uphill battle, and confusing Michigan with Minnesota will make the hill into Mt Everest. Mistakes like this can’t be made for cases like this, and severely hurt the chances for getting to the Supreme Court.

Tap Tap Tap Case Ended GIF - ParksAndRec JayJackson PerdHapley GIFs

The other issue that has not been floated, discussed, or recognized because of the severe pain in doing so is that there may just be enough stupid people in America to vote for Biden over Trump – legitimately. We may have gone beyond the tipping point from which there may be no return. This is a horrific thought, and grinds through my skull like a dull drill bit every time I ponder its merit. The downward spiral of dumbness in America has been in a free fall for years now, and may have achieved maximum velocity during this election.

Yes, there were shenanigans treasonous activities during this election, and because of the complexity and technical skills used, those responsible are probably going to get away with it. For now.

Meanwhile, it is obvious that there needs to be big change in the election process, but that will not happen at the federal level. This is where conservative Americans need to up their game. The squeaky wheel gets the oil – never forget it. For example, when less than one percent of the population who can’t figure out which bathroom to use manage to get school districts and whole states to agree and have laws passed to have your teenage girl share a locker room with a teenage boy who “feels” like a girl, patriots can surely get their collective shit together and force change regarding voting policy.

Changes in how we vote come at the county and state level. So does power in the House and Senate by electing the right people. Everyone makes a big deal about this presidential election but come the local and mid term elections, voter participation will be at 50% of what it is comparatively to this last presidential election. I know far, far too many conservatives up in arms over what happened on November 3rd, but can’t name their state reps or senators. They have no clue about when the next local election will take place. And it is a damn shame.

This is where real change begins. I have no patience when fellow Trump supporters cry, bitch, and moan yet have no idea where real and lasting changes can be made. It is at the local and state level were voting reform will – or will not – happen. There is this delusion that reform will need to come from the president or SCOTUS. Bad news – it won’t.

I have voiced my frustration for years at how conservatives sit back and watch the travesties of unconstitutional actions take place by Marxist progressives, only to shake their heads, say “Oh my!“, then do nothing more. Nothing. Many act is if these little constitutional hiccups will sort themselves out during the next election, or blindly trust their elected officials will fix things. We have only the next opportunity of the next election to get loud, vocal, and be on the political offensive, otherwise it will boil down to

Email, call, write, or pay a visit to your local elected leaders. Read/research, and educate those around you.

the same group that won the American revolution – the 6% that actually took up arms (based on army and militia counts of that time). No one wants it to come to that. Therefore, a vast majority of people we all know must soon get off their ignorant sports watching, beer drinking, America’s-Got-Talent loving asses and get an eFFin’ clue.

Let this be the start of the great awakening. No one is going to get things done politically for you. Your kids, while on our Boomer and Gen X’er watch, have been sent to re-education camps disguised as schools and institutions of higher learning. We now have a society filled with Millennials and Gen Z’ers that have been told America ain’t that great, and it never was. Socialism is fashionably chic. All the cool kids are down with it. This is what we are facing as a society.

This is where you and I come in. Start using your sphere of influence to get people motivated. Educate those with their head in the sand. It will be up to us to do some heavy lifting in the next 2 to 4 years, but it can be done. The blind optimism holding out for this election to be over turned is wasted time. If it happens, GREAT! Wonderful! Super! Hot damn! Rub my face in my dire prediction. Laugh at me in public. I will never be happier to be wrong. If the election stands, we have some very serious shit to do and we need to get better at it – NOW.

“The government you elect is the government you deserve.” ― Thomas Jefferson

Yes, my boy ‘Tommy J’ said this. But I prefer this version:

“People deserve the government they get, and they deserve to get it good and hard.” – H.L. Mencken

The fat lady isn’t singing just yet, but she sure as hell has warmed up and cleared her throat. If the Trump legal team can actually get a true recount in at least Georgia, Michigan, Pennsylvania, and Nevada – well, God love ’em. But even Everest is taller than what it looks from the ground, and this vote challenge is no different. And for what it’s worth, I would never be happier to be proven wrong on this.

So for now, pat yourselves on the back, America! You’ve done a stellar job at demonstrating our educational deficiencies in this country, not to mention our rapid loss of reason and sound judgment.

That being said, since the American people – for the world to see – have demonstrated their sheer ignorance of economics, science, foreign relations, and every other topic that matters, here is what we can expect in the worst-case scenario of an election re-count that doesn’t put Trump over the top, and what will happen with the start of the Biden/Harris administration. So pour yourself a good Kentucky bourbon (sh*t, make it a double), get comfy with a box of tissue, and let me tell you what you can possibly be given to swallow over the next 4 years.  And as one of the many public services we provide, we’ll translate the Democrat doublespeak, and tell you what to expect.

  • Biden could forgive a chunk of student debt without any help from Congress. Student-loan debt reached a national high of $1.5 trillion in 2019. Democratic Sen. Chuck Schumer, the Senate minority leader, and Sen. Elizabeth Warren unveiled a proposal for the next president to cancel up to $50,000 in student-loan debt.
    • Translation: All of your liberal neighbors kids who majored in Gender Studies, or 20th Century Marxist Poetry, or Egyptology, or Floral Management can get a free ride for making a very expensive, piss-poor life decision.
  • Biden could increase the federal minimum wage for contractors to $15 an hour. Biden can increase the hourly pay for federal contractors. The president-elect supports a $15 minimum wage nationwide, though he hasn’t unveiled a timeline to implement it. House Democrats passed a plan last year to gradually reach that level by 2025.
    • Translation: The gift shop clerks at the Capitol Building will make more than your studious, collegiate son or daughter at their engineering internship. Fabulous.
  • Biden could step up corporate taxes by adjusting regulations with the Treasury Department. Biden campaigned to partially roll back Trump’s 2017 tax law and increase the tax rate on corporations to 28%. But Republicans are not likely to support the move, and it may be difficult to achieve if Democrats don’t control the Senate. He could step up corporate taxation by adjusting several regulations with the Treasury Department. Trump’s tax law reduced the corporate tax rate from 35% to 21%, the biggest change to the tax code in three decades, which is one of the reasons unemployment – pre-covid – was at all time lows across the board and especially with minorities.
    • Translation The ignorant socialist bedwetters and Bernie supporters will cheer with glee at this one. But since they lack even the most basic understanding of economics, the brutal reality of lost jobs, increased overseas investment, and the fact that the end user/customer pays those taxes by increased product costs will make them scream louder. Democrats/Progressives/Socialists are not smart people.
  • Repurpose unspent federal relief funds. Congress hasn’t spent all the relief funds from the Coronavirus Aid, Relief, and Economic Security Act passed in March. Biden could repurpose some of the unspent money from the Paycheck Protection Program.
    • Translation: Use your imagination on this one. No progressive dream is too big or too lofty. Let your thoughts run wild.
More great illustrations @

But hey, don’t worry your pretty little head off worrying about such trivialities as the economy, or jobs, or other meaningless topics that will affect your future, or your children’s future, or your life as a whole. We’re gonna save the planet from greedy corporate polluters, cow farts, and those pesky gas-guzzling vehicles.

Biden’s legislative agenda on climate will largely depend on whether Democrats gain control of the US Senate, which will be decided in two run-off elections in Georgia taking place on January 5. YOU REALLY NEED TO FRET AND WORRY ABOUT THIS.

But regardless of which party controls the Senate, Biden has pledged to sign a series of executive orders, which do not require congressional approval. In other words, “Its good to be the king“.

Biden has laid out a really stupid and meritless $1.7 trillion investment climate plan with the goal of reaching net-zero greenhouse gas emissions by 2050.

Actual copy of Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (AOC) Green New Deal proposal

Stef Feldman, Biden’s campaign policy director, says that Biden’s climate plan is an “all-of-government agenda,” and will be worked on across departments and agencies.

Here’s a list of 10 executive actions Biden has said he will take on his first day as president to combat the environmental “crisis” and placate the “Green New Deal” wing of the Dem party:

  • Require limits on methane pollution for oil and gas operations.
    • Translation: Crazy Uncle Joe is gonna get rid of all of those energy jobs that employ hundreds of thousands. No worries, mate. There is a surplus of government cheese to be handed out in DC. Just ask Pelosi and Schumer!
  • Use the federal government procurement system to work towards 100% clean energy and zero-emissions vehicles.
    • Translation: Nothing screams “Go Green!” like lithium mining for batteries.
Let the visual swirl in your head for a bit.
  • Ensure US government buildings and facilities are more efficient and climate-ready.
    • Translation: Yeah, because we haven’t wasted enough taxpayer money yet.
  • Implement the already-existing Clean Air Act, and reduce greenhouse gas emissions from transportation by developing new fuel economy standards to ensure all new sales for light- and medium-duty vehicles will be electrified, and annual improvements for heavy duty vehicles.
    • Translation: Because who doesn’t want to spend $125K for an F-150?
  • Double down on liquid fuels like advanced biofuels and make agriculture a key part of the solution to the climate crisis.
    • Translation: Never mind that producing enough biodiesel or ethanol to replace one gallon of petroleum fuel, they argue, requires the energy equivalent to several gallons’ worth of petroleum fuel. We just need to start feeling green.
  • Reduce emissions and cut consumer costs through new standards for appliance and building efficiency.
    • Translation: Yes, sir! You’ll easily save $10 a year in in utilities, and pay hundreds more for that new washer, dryer, refrigerator, washing machine, etc.
  • Require federal permit decisions to consider effects of greenhouse gas emissions and climate change, and ensure every federal infrastructure investment reduces climate pollution.
  • Require public companies to disclose climate risks and greenhouse gas emissions in their operations and supply chains.
    • Translation: This is a true job creator, folks. Companies will now need to hire staff to compile meaningless metrics and data that no one will look at. Its all part of the Biden plan for economic growth!
  • Rejoin the Paris climate accord, a landmark international deal to combat the climate crisis that Trump pulled out of in 2017.
    • Translation: No matter how useless, unscientific, and financially crippling to the U.S., we need our friends to really, really like us for pretending to care. According to the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT), which compiled the combined impacts of the various pledges under the Treaty, it found a best-case scenario of global temperature reduction of 0.2 degrees Celsius by 2100.
  • Permanently protect the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge, establish national parks and monuments, ban new oil and gas permits on public lands and waters, modify royalties to account for climate costs and creating programs to enhance reforestation and develop renewable energy on federal lands and waters to double offshore wind by 2030.
    • Translation: Who needs all of that selfish energy independence anyways? Let’s help create more jobs in oil-rich terrorist nations like Iran and Russia. Think of others, you greedy bastards!

So there it is, fans. A virtual cornucopia of stupidity, waste, and increased cost – TO YOU!

But honestly, maybe America needs this. Not for any of the benefits they are trying to sell like snake oil, but rather as a bump-stop for the downward spiral of electorate sloth, complacency, and ignorance. Just sayin’ …

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